What Is Extinction
Extinction is the process of removing the reinforcement that maintains a behavior, causing that behavior to decrease over time. When your child acts out and you stop providing attention, comfort, or other rewards they've learned to expect, the unwanted behavior gradually fades.
In ABA therapy, extinction is one of the most effective evidence-based techniques for reducing challenging behaviors. Research shows that behaviors maintained by social reinforcement (like attention-seeking tantrums) typically decrease by 50% within 1 to 3 weeks of consistent extinction, though the timeline varies by child and behavior type.
How Extinction Works with Common Behaviors
Your child learns behaviors through consequence. If a tantrum gets them attention, screen time, or escape from a task, that behavior strengthens. Extinction breaks this chain by removing the payoff. Here are real scenarios:
- Attention-seeking whining: Child whines for a snack. You previously gave in. Now you remain calm, redirect without eye contact or verbal response, and offer the snack only when whining stops. The behavior typically peaks before declining.
- Escape-motivated behavior: Child throws books during reading time to avoid the task. Under extinction, you calmly return to the activity without commentary. Within 2 to 4 weeks, many children stop the behavior because it no longer works as an escape route.
- Sensory-driven behaviors: Some behaviors persist for sensory input rather than social reinforcement (self-stimulatory spinning, hand flapping). These respond differently to extinction and often benefit more from sensory regulation strategies like weighted vests or fidget tools.
The Extinction Burst: What Parents Must Expect
Before a behavior decreases, it almost always gets worse. This is called an extinction burst. A child whose whining has been rewarded for years will whine louder, longer, and more intensely when you first stop responding. This typically lasts 3 to 7 days. Parents who don't expect this often reinforce the very behavior they're trying to eliminate by giving in during the surge.
Your consistency during the extinction burst determines success. One response to the old reinforcer can restart the entire process, adding weeks to extinction.
When Extinction Works Best
Extinction is most effective for behaviors maintained by attention or tangible rewards. It works less reliably for behaviors with automatic or sensory reinforcement. Before using extinction, identify what maintains the behavior:
- Socially reinforced behaviors: Extinction is your best option. Examples include tantrums for attention, interrupting, and verbal complaints.
- Escape-motivated behaviors: Extinction works well paired with positive reinforcement of compliance. Ignore the behavior while continuing the demand.
- Sensory-driven behaviors: Extinction alone often fails. Combine with sensory breaks, regulation tools, and alternative outlets for the same sensory experience.
- Safety-risk behaviors: Never use extinction alone for self-injury, aggression, or dangerous acts. These require comprehensive intervention with professional guidance.
Extinction vs. Planned Ignoring
These terms overlap but aren't identical. Planned ignoring is the specific strategy of deliberately withdrawing attention. Extinction is the broader principle of removing whatever reinforcer maintains the behavior. You can ignore a behavior without extinction (if the behavior isn't attention-maintained), and you can use extinction strategies beyond ignoring (like removing access to toys or screen time).
Common Questions
- How long until I see improvement? Attention-seeking behaviors often show noticeable decline within 2 to 3 weeks if you're consistent. Some children respond in days. Behaviors that have been reinforced for years take longer than newer behaviors.
- What if my child has sensory processing differences? Standard extinction often fails for children with sensory-seeking behaviors because the behavior provides internal reward regardless of your response. These children benefit more from offering legitimate sensory outlets (trampoline time, weighted blankets, fidgets) while ignoring the problematic version.
- Can extinction harm my child emotionally? Extinction doesn't harm your child when applied correctly. You remain warm and available; you're simply not providing the consequence that reinforces the behavior. Children whose tantrums were previously rewarded with parental engagement actually feel more secure once they learn their behavior doesn't control outcomes.